As I rocked my little girl to sleep tonight I absolutely lost track of time. My breath was taken away thinking of all the nights the past year we have sat in her room and rocked, how tiny she was in my arms and now how her arms and legs overflowed my arms. Yet in those moments tonight she was not my big girl who is turning one tomorrow- she was my little girl, my angel baby I prayed for so long to arrive.
I was overcome with emotion and love for her like I have never felt. I remember being beside myself excited the day I went in the hospital- one year ago tonight. I drove to the hospital in silence since I was all sorts of nervous, scared, thrilled and curious. I waited on Jon to be there as he was driving home from Q-school much like he is tonight. I waited for the next day when I knew I'd finally meet my daughter. Somehow I think I slept a few hours but it was all without knowing the love I was about to experience.
This past year has been a whirlwind. It seems too cliche to say its flown by but it has. I have enjoyed every second of being a Mom, even more than I really think I thought I would. I love how Eva has a way of making me forget about any troubles with her smile. I love that she loves her Daddy with an unconditional love. I love that I slow down to see things from her perspective and that she's taught me how to be a better person. I love that no matter what I do or say, she thinks I am funny. I love that she loves music and that she came out kickin and still loves dancing every day. I love that she started off looking exactly like Jon and now looks more like me everyday. But really I love what she means to us. She is really everything perfect and pure in this world and I cant imagine a day without her.
I am so excited about her first birthday tomorrow. I am excited she'll be a big sister soon and that she got to at least have this first year to herself. More than anything, I look forward to each coming year with anticipation for what she'll do, learn and teach us. She's my little miracle, her Daddy's little girl and the most beautiful creation God could give us!
Jon and I got a canvas with this verse painted on it when we found out we were having a girl and it is hanging in her room. I see it every night when I put her to bed. It reminds me that as I kiss her goodnight, our God is so faithful and very real!